Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
