I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
