you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
