There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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