I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
