sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
