Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
