listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
