I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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