...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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