Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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