I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize