you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Floor bacon is actually really good
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