I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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