the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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