I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
