I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
