Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
