I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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