i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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