Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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