And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
