it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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