I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
