Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
