Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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