I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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