the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize