how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
