If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
