mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
