Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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