You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
