i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need moral support for this bender
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
