I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
