get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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