did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I faked an abortion last night.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Success! We fucked roommates!
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