she was so not down for the gang bang
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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