Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
