Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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