it wasn't lemon gatorade
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
