Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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