i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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