I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
