you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
