Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
