Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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