I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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