so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize