Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
