he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
