He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
