Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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