I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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