Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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