Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So vagazzling was a success
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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