New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
