I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
