you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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