I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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