I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
