You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
my liver is dry heaving
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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