Can i not drive my cunt home
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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