When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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